Song Parodies -> Why Jail Is Hell(Dirty)
"Can't Stop" Based on the performance by Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Why Jail Is Hell(Dirty)" Parody by Paul R Sometimes it's a good idea to think before you speak. And after you've done that, sometimes it's a good idea to not say what you thought, too. Some people forget about the 2nd part, like the main character in this parody. I posted another version over on "whatfreaks" where a different type of personality deals with the same initial Traffic Stop situation. The title over there is "Why Jail is Hell(Clean)"
That cop he just nailed me for speeding
He did not want to hear my pleading The bastard still gave me the ticket Want to tell him that he is a dickhead I guess I helped to fill his quota That does not please me one iota I muttered something 'bout his mother He said, "what was that you just said, brother? Get out and put your hands above you" Don't like this; think I'm 'bout to be screwed He said "Lie flat upon the pavement" Said "Move just one muscle and you'll be dead" Looks like a good time to be humble Better not give lip back to this dumbo When asked a question give him answers Go along and make sure to say, "Yes sir" (Chorus) Was in my car Then I got stopped By some obnoxious asshole cop Was a blunder to say something rude I'm on the ground and looking up I see him reach for his handcuffs Dammit, hell, I'm in deep doo-doo I hear some ringing, it's my cell phone "Please leave a message 'cause I'm not home" Oh, no, it's Jack, who is an asshole Says, "Think you can pick me up some grass, bro?" The cop stares at me in elation "Think that I'll take you to the station" This jerk is wearing on my patience This whole damned encounter doesn't make sense He said "Now get up on your feet, scum" Treating me like I am a complete bum This type of treatment's not endearing Don't think I can make bail now I'm fearing They took my 'prints and processed me through Guard said, "Guys in lock-up gonna like you" Rough looking fellow in the top bunk Says, "Tonight you're gonna be all mine, punk" (Chorus) "This is not cool" was my reply "I do not want to be your bride" He laughed and then said, "that's too bad, dude" I'm stuck in here with vicious cons He probably doesn't use condoms Situation's making me blue (Tempo Change) "After dinner when the lights are out we will screw, 'til I'm through We'll be rocking 'cause I'll be socking it to you", he enthused It's not pleasing for me to contemplate just what he'll do Knees are knocking, can't think of anything to do; I am screwed (Instrumental break) (Return to original tempo) I'm stuck in jail because of that pig Convict is making me wear a wig He said "it's like initiation now I'm gonna make some penetration" He said "just lie there and be real still You're gonna let me do what I will Don't fight me while I'm in your rear end or you'll end up having to wear 'Depends'." Cock out, and now he's gonna ram you He's gonna ream you 'til he shoots goo I writhe beneath his vicious pounding God, the pain is so bad, it's astounding Dick hard and planted in my caboose This type of sex will make me real loose Now I'm a victim of rear-ending Rough con sex; my anus is distending I hope some day it will be mending Perhaps you find my tale heart-rending I am getting sodomized so violently Hear guards laugh as they ignore my frantic pleas Con sprayed with me cum when he withdrew Then made me thank him when he was through Your Vote Counts
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